Its almost a year since i wrote a post on my feelings been told i had Ovarian Cancer and almost four years since i was actually diagnosed. I suppose i should feel great that the cancer has gone, along with my ovaries and whatever nasty bits were lurking in there but i don’t.
Why? because of the side affects i’ve been left with.
Some days i feel fine, until i get out there and remember i am still ill.. Some people will look at me and think there’s nothing wrong as i try to “look” normal in my everyday activities. they don’t see how i try to walk at a normal pace but end up having to hold on to a fence or stopping in my tracks until i feel ok again to carry on.
This bloody Peripheral Neuropathy is really getting me down and my Oncologist did say it’ll get worse and affect my quality of life. it sure as hell is. I’m like an old lady when it comes to stairs/steps and if i see a dodgy pavement the panic start as i’m petrified i’ll stumble. even last week when i Learnt to Swim didn’t help as i couldn’t feel the bottom of the pool even though it was only 4ft 6 inches!
Now though its been confirmed.. I am disabled. I have a badge in my car to prove the fact. Who would have thought that good old Trace, the life and sole of the party with her dancing all night antics, would end up been bloody disabled!.
I really hope that one day a miracle will happen and my limbs will be my own again and my head will stop been fuzzy but as yet there is no cure. I'm not feeling sorry for myself by the way, i just felt i had to blog about how i feel as i find it easier to do this that to actually speak to anyone.